Ellen and I start making Christmas presents in July.  We figure out a theme and start gathering the elements needed to create our gifts for the upcoming holiday season.  We need this much lead time because we usually end up making around 45 to 50 presents.  I appreciate that this is insane, but we enjoy doing this each year.

This year, what with all the craziness, we wanted to do something that would uplift our friends and family.  As we were discussing what that might look like, I got the idea that what would really help everyone is if we could counter-balance all the negativity.  In spite of all the unfortunate things that have happened this year, the number one source of negativity in our lives is from ourselves.  We berate and beat ourselves up constantly.  We have this inner critic that is relentless.  How it got there is a subject for another writing, but it is there judging us every minute of every day.  No one outside us sees us as failing to meet standards as we do.  In fact most of the time other people think we are just fine, and sometimes think we actually do a really good job.  There is clearly a disconnect between how we think about ourselves and our actual performance.  Probably this is because we have some silly belief that if we really were good then everyone would see we were right and we would get our way and they would be our way.  That is clearly not happening, so we must be failing somewhere.

Well, I figured that what we need is something to balance the scale a bit.  We are always trying to do our best and often we do a good job.  Maybe doing a good job is enough.  Sure, we would like to get our way and have everyone be our way, but they are all too busy being their own way and really are not interested in what we want.  That does not mean that we have not done a good job.  Our performance is still excellent even if we don't get the payoff we would like.  Instead of ignoring the good job we are doing, I am suggesting that we pay attention to all these good things ourselves.  Let's write them down each day.  Take a couple of minutes at the end of the day and make a note of what you did well during the day.  I am talking five minutes tops. We have the time – especially these days.

We chronically under appreciate ourselves and chronically over criticize ourselves.  This produces chronic stress.  We can turn this all-around simply by appreciating ourselves more.  These would be great “words to live by” - you know, the kind everybody says but no one does.  Those are not useful.  To actually be useful, you have to actually do something to directly acknowledge yourself.  Making a quick note in a journal does that.  By willingly engaging in this simple activity you will find yourself looking for the good about yourself during the day so you will have something to write down in your journal.  That stance turns everything around.  When you look for your excellence regularly you feel better about yourself.  As you feel better about yourself you reduce inflammation in your body and improve both your memory and thinking ability.  You literally become better just by looking for and acknowledging the good job you do with life.

I am not saying that you are not going to wish that some days never happened.  And none of us are amazing all the time.  That is okay.  We are enough right now.  If we weren't we would not have gotten this far.  Life is a mixed bag, and we are not in control no matter how much we want to be.  Our greatest impact is on the space between our ears.  But even there is a war between our efforts to do well and our temperamental thoughts and emotions that have us reacting to things.  That is just how we are.  Everyone is this way inside.  Some folks are good at suppressing self-awareness of these inner conflicts, but that does not make them go away.  We need to balance them with solid evidence-based appreciation for ourselves.  A journal is that evidence.  If you have had a bad day, pull out your journal, and review a couple of pages of your successes.  We lose sight of the big picture when we are self-judging and feeling bad or suppressing our feelings.  A little perspective based on past successes will ease the stress and settle the digestion.

So that was where we went for Christmas presents.  I figure these will help us build 2021 into a whole different picture than the one we saw in 2020.  Ellen designed the organza bag presentation, printed up gold enclosed letters, and made the tags and I came up with the gold lettering on the front of the journals.  Last year was our cans of homemade sugar-free coconut milk hot chocolate mix.  That was just fun, but this year needed something a little more uplifting.  I had a few to bring to the office to sell as presents, but one of Ellen's clients loved them so much she bought all of them.  Over Christmas weekend I made 20 more for the office as New Years presents for starting the New Year off on the right foot.  We will be open Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday if you want one.

2021 is just a few days away now.  In some ways it feels like 2020 never happened.  It is kind of the lost year.  I assume the universe is testing our mettle with all this lockdown and what not.  Our job is to just keep doing the best we can.  The need to adapt to change is the one constant we can always count on.  Let's make some really positive adaptations in this coming year.

Take care,

David

We have a special treat this newsletter.  Ellen is working on a book to share spiritual principles to children and adults that may have missed learning them while growing up.  The principles are presented in the book in three forms, as a children's story, Ellen's personal story, and the philosophy.  This letter is from a second book that she has started, to teach principles not presented in the first book.  The main character in the first book is a little girl named Hannah.  In the second book Hannah has grown and gone off to college, and her angel caretakers are writing her to further her spiritual education.

12/4/20

Dear Hannah,

I am very glad we had the opportunity to share a few words this past holiday. You always seemed to enjoy the time we spent talking about how to navigate your relationship with life. I told you I would send a note with a suggestion on how to live a more easeful life because you mentioned that you feel fear/stress when things are not your way, as all people do.  As a human some part of you believes that everything should be your way and that something is very wrong, or you are wrong because it is not your way. I believe you have gathered by now that your existence is not designed to be a FULL creation of your way and it is not, BUT what I will share is how you can INFLUENCE things to be more your way.

I would like us to look first at some general principles that guide the human experience on this earth.  I am sure that you are aware of how things work…this is just a reminder.  

    1. Our thoughts create our world. Yes, our thoughts are energy that we send to spirit to ask/request what we would like to have in our life. People have used this understanding and method of creation called PRAYER for centuries. Prayer is a proven and effective way to ask and receive gifts from spirit. Prayer is best presented as a feeling because that is the language of the heart.

    2. Why does Spirit NOT grant all our requests? For that answer we need to look at things from a bigger perspective, not just what would serve our needs or wants in the moment. We need to consider why we are on this earth and how does our being on this earth serve Spirit.
     My belief: I believe that our existence was designed to bring our potential into full manifestation and maturity. Our circumstances and experiences challenge us to grow and move more into alignment with Spirit. Spirit has a goal for us to move from spiritual children to fully functioning spiritual adults. This takes a lot of trial and error on our part to master the skills.  When we ask Spirit  for something that supports Spirit’s agenda or goal for us, our request is granted.  When we ask Spirit  for something that does not help us grow and mature, our request is NOT granted.

3. That brings us to how and what can we ask that has the best chance of being granted?  I have no proof of what I am about to tell you, only historical reports.  It is best to present a need to Spirit rather than requesting a specific item, object or outcome.  
     Example: I need a car for transportation, please vs. I want a new car,  please.  I have been told that the more you limit your request the less chance you have of receiving it.
     Example with people: I need my daughter to be well so she can take care of me vs.  Spirit please send me someone to take care of me. When we involve a specific other person in our request it is less likely that our request will be granted because Spirit must  consider the growth and path of that person in addition to us.
     Again, present your need if possible not a specific want.

    4. Another guide to making a request of Spirit is to NEVER focus or ask in a NEGATIVE way. Do not use the word don’t or not.  In other words, ask for what you DO want/need; do not state what you do not want. This takes us back to reminder #1.  

    5. Make your request often.  I have found that when my heart, soul and conscious mind becomes a beacon of my request, every breath and heartbeat will speak my desire.   It is as if I have grabbed hold of Spirit’s coattail and will not let go. My life becomes THE prayer and I am heard.

    6. Ask spirit if there is anything you need to do or be to get your request granted.

                            Reminder Card
    1. Focus your attention on the feeling you want (not the form or goal).
    2. Make your request often (let it be the song of your heart and soul).
    3. Ask Spirit if there is anything you need to do or be to have your request granted.

As you know information does not change our lives.
                            CHANGE 
Change comes from doing something different.
If you want a different life, use the card above as a focus every morning to direct your actions to a new relationship with “all that is”.
  

We have received a third batch of copies of my book The Balanced Life.    They are available in the office for $17.99, and they are also available on Amazon.com







Ellen update:    

The holidays happened.  We had the joy of entertaining the office staff for a lovely office party and two days later entertaining family for Christmas Day celebration.  Far too much good food was consumed - all keto - and now our pants don't fit.  Object lesson - keto does not mean low calorie!  It looks like a fast is arriving soon.  Ellen is actually insisting on one this time.  Time to clean out the holiday cheer.  2020 will be over in a few days.  Here is hoping for a more prosperous New Year for all of you.