AWeber - FOHAC Fear #400a

Published: Wed, 04/05/17

Fair Oaks Health News

Welcome

April 5, 2017

Fear of connection/fear of separation

Hi ,

We are all trapped between these two fears. Being alone and separate feels terrible. Our most basic instinct as an infant is that being left alone equals death because we are completely dependent. We reach out for connection with our cries when we are in need. We form the belief that we are not ok unless someone is paying attention to us all the time. We equate attention with love. We believe that our okness is under the control and power of those who attend to us… largely because at that age it is. Our needs are entirely met by our caretakers. It teaches us to seek to solve our internal discomforts with external comforts from others.

We are born with the fear of separation, but in short order we develop the fear of connection. Out of need we cry out for connection, but much of the time what we get is not what we want. We might have dirty diapers, but mom may think that we need to be fed. If we refuse to eat, then mom gets mad at us and puts us in our crib all alone. We still have dirty diapers. As a million variations of this story play out, we learn to fear connection because no one is able to truly understand what exactly we need and want. Who we are and what we want just does not match the agendas of those we try to connect with. All of life is this way all the time.

What do we do? We either learn to hide or suppress what we really want and who we are in order to maintain connection, or we go into resistance, get angry, and refuse to have anything to do with people. We always seem to be forced to choose between holding on to the integrity of our own feelings, needs, and wants, and going along with the feelings, needs, and wants of others. This conflict makes us crazy. This craziness all comes from the original false belief we formed that says: “I am not ok unless you love me (pay attention to me) and put my needs first.” Both sides of the conflict/puzzle – the resistance and/or the self-suppression – are responses to this same belief.

What is the answer? Lets start with the basics. Fear comes from the awareness that things are not the way you want. Things like your past, your possible future, your plans, whatever. Letting go of that attention and drawing your awareness to your center simplifies your wants to something achievable, like breathing and your fears go away. In fact the fear is replaced with excitement because once you are simplified and centered in the present moment, your attention gets turned to “what do I want next?” Soak in that excited feeling for a bit and own it before you actually focus on a specific object of desire. Staying excited depends on focusing on something achievable. If you expect and believe you can have “it” then you stay excited. If not then you will probably go into your favorite place of fear, anger, or depression.

So what about the fear of connection and separation? You turn the belief around. You acknowledge that you need connection, but you take the responsibility to reach out to make connection and find a way to have your needs/wants and their needs/wants meet in the middle somewhere. You have to reach out and “love” them first (send attention their way and attend to their needs) while also expressing who you are and what your needs are. This is the skill of expressing appropriate boundaries. That means you have to know who you are and what you want before you seek connection to someone else. This self-awareness guides your connection and communication with them. They may not want to deal with your needs or wants, in which case it is your job to move on. Participation with others must be win-win or ugliness will result within your heart because you will either go into resistance or self-suppression.

Do not be afraid of the loss of connection when you have good boundaries. If you are, then you will only end up losing yourself. Always: “To thine own self be true.” Do not be afraid of connection to others that do not put you first or are not like you. Your job is to figure out how to make it work if they are willing to participate with you. Remember that they are in the exact same boat as you. If they are not willing, then move on. You can never make them change who they are today. You can only invite them to shift closer to a working arrangement. Any attempt to force them will only suppress them and all you can get is hollow reactions – no real participation.

You don’t have to be alone or separate and you don’t have to suppress who you are. You have to know who you are before you connect, then make the choice to

connect knowing that the other person is different from you and will have different wants and needs always. Create a win.

Take care,

David

Ellen update:

Ellen has been my first test subject for the rejuvenation protocol I am putting together. She stayed in the autophage stage for a week to help clean old stroke dead tissue out of her brain so there is room for new and better connections. As a side bonus she has also dropped about 9 pounds that she is happier to be free of.

Vitamin C fights cancer

It has been known for many years that vitamin C fight cancer, but exactly how has been a mystery. New research has found that at least one way C fights cancer is disrupting the cancer stem cells metabolism preventing the cells from expanding and spreading to new sites.

Vitamin C

____________________________________________

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

~ Albert Camus

__________________________________

Aging reversed by High-Intensity Interval Training

Folks are always arguing about what kind of exercise is best. Different folks need different types of exercise, but for aging adults the benefits of high intensity exercise appear to be the greatest. Not only does it improve aerobic capacity, but also improves mitochondrial function, and even boost protein levels in muscle - common problems for aging adults.

HIIT

______________________________________________

"To know oneself, one should assert oneself."

~ Albert Camus
_______________________________

Stevia Combats Lyme Disease

Stevia leaf extract has been found to have strong antibiotic properties against Borrelia Bergoderfi the cause of Lyme's disease. Because this nasty critter shape-shifts it avoids the effects of current antibiotics, but stevia appears to stop it very effectively.

Lyme

_________________________________________

"To be happy we must not be too concerned with others."

~ Albert Camus

________________________________________________

Our address is 9725 Fair Oaks Blvd. suite A
Our hours are M - F 9 to 1 and M, Tu, & Th 3 to 6

Finding the new location is very easy. Coming from highway 50 up Sunrise Blvd, you turn left and go up a block. We are on the right hand side - the building just past the Subway Sandwich shop. If you are coming down Sunrise from the Mall area then just turn right on Fair Oaks Blvd and up a block on the right.

If you are coming from the Roseville area you could come down Sunrise Blvd, but that is a long trek. It is probably shorter time wise to come down Auburn Blvd - San Juan Ave like you have been for the Sunset office, but instead of turning left at Sunset, keep going straight 3 more lights to Fair Oaks Blvd and turn left. Go down 2 lights to New York Ave, go through the intersection, and immediately turn into the turn lane once the center divider ends. We are on the left.

You are free to reprint this article in your newsletter as long as you include the following statement in the same size type and color:

"This article appears courtesy of Fair Oaks Health News, offering natural and healthy solutions for body, mind and soul. For a complimentary subscription,
visit http://www.fairoakshealth.com"

_______________

Click Here

to check on old newsletters

_______________

About Dr. DeLapp

Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years. He began experimenting with medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis. In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education. Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic. He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice.
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health.
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities.
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth. The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework. Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.

Fair Oaks Healing
& Arts Center
Staff