| Welcome |
|
Heartflow Philosophy
June 16, 2013
Safety and Belonging
Hi ,
When people around you do things that just don't make sense or you do things that don't make sense to yourself, you want to know what the heck this is all about. To understand what is going on, the core question to ask is "How do these behaviors create either the feeling of safety or the feeling of belonging?"
As humans we have a built -in priority to survive. This exists deeper than our conscious awareness in the two preconscious areas of the brain: the reptilian hindbrain and in the mammalian mid-brain. They are both carrying the program to survive, but they go about survival in different ways.
The reptilian brain is the seat of the famous fight or flight response. This actually contains five basic responses to aid our survival: fight, flight, freeze, feed, and fornicate (species survival). The mid-brain developed later in our evolution as we discovered that cooperative participation with others greatly assisted our survival. One way to describe the mid-brain's basic programming is the need to belong.
In both parts of the brain, success with the survival behavior produces ease - that basic feeling of "I am OK." Seeking this basic feeling is the most basic motivator for human behavior. The need to feel OK and at ease is what drives all other motivations. The drive for power, the drive for attention, the drive for wealth, the drive for everything, all comes down to a seeking for that basic feeling - ease. And ease comes from success at seeking either safety or belonging.
Some might think that belonging is just another way of achieving safety, but it is not. Belonging will often override personal safety. With belonging our identity expands to include our group or tribe of belonging. The safety of the tribe becomes more important than our individual safety and we are willing to sacrifice our lives to "save" or "protect" the safety of our loved ones. So although belonging is about safety, it transcends personal safety.
Human needs and motivations exist as a hierarchy with the feeling of ease at the base. After ease, the next most important feeling we pursue is pleasure. This is followed by feeling empowered, as next up the ladder of feeling-motivators. Here is the basic feeling need hierarchy:
1. Ease
2. Pleasure
3. Empowerment
4. Connection/Love/Esteem
5. Self-Manifestation/Self Realization
6. Understanding/Wisdom
7. Personal Meaning/ God Realization/Oneness
The thing to understand about a hierarchy is you can't really accomplish any of the feelings up the ladder until you have met the lower feeling-needs first. A simple example is you can't really feel full pleasure if you do not feel the ease of safety first. Likewise, you can't feel empowered if don't already have a handle on the ease of safety and the flow of pleasure.
This simple reality does not stop us from trying to achieve higher feeling-needs first before mastering the lower feelings. The result is lots and lots of distortions in what we can achieve and what we even believe we can achieve. Eventually these distortions shift what we believe we want. For instance, a drive for empowerment without a feeling of  ease first can result in a distortion of pursuing power over others. The brain tries to mix the two feeling-needs and says "Gee, I don't feel safe and I want to feel powerful so I could kill two birds with one stone by creating safety through controlling others to make them be right. That way I will be safe and feel powerful at the same time."
The problem is that none of the distorted feeling-pursuits work. We think they will work, but they don't. This brings us to the beginning of the article about people (including ourselves) that act insane and do things that make no sense to us. Inside themselves their behavior makes perfect sense to them when looked at in terms of the desired feeling outcome. Unfortunately the distortions generally involve a disregard and disrespect for the needs and wants of others. Consequently they resist our efforts and block our success at achieving the feeling we want.
More importantly, the feelings we are after are internally generated in response to us successfully relating to life in a way that is in harmony with life. We can't get the real feelings we are after by forcing external circumstances to match a picture we have of how things should look. Life fights back when we try to force our way on the world. We can't feel at ease when we are busy fighting life. And since ease is the basic most feeling, we can't feel any of the other authentic internal feeling-needs being met if we are not at ease, because we are fighting life.
There are thousands of ways we can create distortions by being off target along the way. When we are off target we can feel that empty disquiet inside that produces the hunger that never seems to be met. Filling that emptiness is an inside job. The first step in that job is finding the balance between safety and belonging that produces the deep feeling of ease we are looking for.
Here is the challenge: finding the balance between the methods of the hindbrain and the mid-brain. Chasing belonging to the extreme of abandoning our own safety does not give us ease. Obsessing on our own safety and ignoring our need to belong does not create ease. Doing either of these in a way that does not respect others also does not produce ease.
We have to find the balance that does work for us. We are all a little different with different purposes in life, so that balance will be different for each of us. There is no single right way or answer. One person's idea of a co-dependent is another person's vision of loving motherhood. It is the joining of our differences that has made humanity strong.
So we aren't crazy and those other people (probably) aren't crazy. We are just all searching for our individual balance of internal forces and drives that will produce the feelings we are seeking. No one teaches us how to do this, so we have to learn by trial and error. Many of us never do figure it out.
Understanding the few simple principles I discussed here can help. Understanding that you can't fight life or disrespect others and ever expect to be successful at feeling ease and okness is a big clue. Understanding that these feeling-needs exist in a hierarchy, and that we have to work from the bottom up is also a big clue. This is part of the Heartflow philosophy that Ellen uses when she does her spiritual coaching in the office. Spiritual coaching can help you achieve the heartfelt fulfillment you are seeking in your life.
Take care,
David
Cucumber Avocado Macadamia Nut Dressing
Nothing sets off a nice summer salad like a delicious creamy dressing. I know there are purists out there that think a salad should only be sprinkled with exotic virgin first press olive oil and a fancy wine vinegar or possibly simple lemon juice. But I am not one of those people. I grew up loving thousand island and creamy buttermilk ranch dressing. Just my clay feet showing up here I guess. Now I don't choose to use mayonnaise, ketchup, milk, or any of the other ingredients of those glorious dressings of the past, so I have to get creative.
Today Ellen says to me "Lets do a salad for lunch. What type of dressing can you use?" I checked the refrigerator and found nothing so I decided to invent a dressing for the occasion. Using the basic concept of oil and vinegar as the basis of any dressing I improvised. I had half an avocado, which I figured would add oil and creaminess. I tossed this into the blender along with some avocado oil and some plum flavored vinegar. There was a bag of raw macadamia nuts on the counter so I added a small handful of those to the mix. Then looking around the kitchen I spied one of those shrink-wrapped English cucumbers in the hanging fruit basket that was now several days old. Why not? I peeled that puppy and chopped it up and threw it into the blender as well. A few spices and a minute of blending and BAM - a new favorite dressing is born.
David's Cucumber Avocado Macadamia Nut Dressing
½ ripe avocado
½ cup avocado oil
½ cup tasty vinegar of your choice
2 cups cucumber peeled and chopped
¼ cup macadamia nuts
½ tsp. black pepper
½ tsp. dill weed (dried)
1 tsp. coconut aminos (optional)
2 tsp. dried onion flakes
2 tsp. fish sauce
4 drops Dr. Dave Supersweet Drops
Blend everything on medium until fairly smooth and enjoy!
Ultrasound Physical Therapy
Now available in the office
Tuesdays and Fridays
How to find us -
Our address is 9725 Fair Oaks Blvd.
Finding the new location is very easy. Coming from highway 50 up Sunrise Blvd, you turn left and go up a block. We are on the right hand side - the building just past the Subway Sandwich shop. If you are coming down Sunrise from the Mall area then just turn right on Fair Oaks Blvd and up a block on the right.
If you are coming from the Roseville area you could come down Sunrise Blvd, but that is a long trek. It is probably shorter time wise to come down Auburn Blvd - San Juan Ave like you have been for the Sunset
office, but instead of turning left at Sunset, keep going straight 3
more lights to Fair Oaks Blvd and turn left. Go down 2 lights to New York Ave, go through the intersection, and immediately turn into the turn lane once the center divider ends. We are on the left.
|
H
|
On the Wire
|
Soda Damages Teeth Like Crack Cocaine
-
Meth, Crack, and soda all have high levels of acid in them and all three erode the enamel of your teeth. This is true even for diet soda, and sports/energy drinks. Not everyone minds having their teeth rot out, but coughing up five grand for an implant because you didn't know the impact of soda and sports drinks is a sizable chunk of change that personally I would put to better use.
Soda
_____________________________________________
"He that's secure is not safe.."
~ Benjamin Franklin
__________________________________
Key to sustainable agriculture is sourcing your foodstuffs locally. But what do you do when you live in the center of a busy metropolis? One Vancouver "farming" company has an answer - vertical hydroponics. They are able to grow as much plant food on a standard sized residential lot as a 16 acre farm. Using energy efficient LED lights and hydroponics, they are able to process 10,000 plants every 3 days.
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."
~John A. Shedd
_______________________________
Bed-sharing 'raises cot death risk fivefold'
Bed sharing has become a bit of a fad with new mothers recently to improve a sense of connectedness with the children. This recent study of 1500 crib deaths suggests this idea may need to be reconsidered. Five times as many babies die from sleeping with their parents as do babies that sleep in a crib or cot. It is still recommended that the crib be in the same room as the parent for the first several months, but not in the same bed.
"Let the people know the truth and the country is safe."
~ Abraham Lincoln
________________________________________________
You
are free to reprint this article in your newsletter as long as you
include the following statement in the same size type and color:
"This article appears courtesy of Fair Oaks Health News, offering natural and healthy solutions for body, mind and soul. For a complimentary subscription,
visit http://www.fairoakshealth.com"
|
| |
|
_______________
to check on old newsletters
_______________
About Dr. DeLapp
|
|
Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years. He began experimenting with medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis. In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education. Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic. He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice.
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health.
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities.
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth. The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework. Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.
Fair Oaks Healing
& Arts Center
Staff
Dr David DeLapp DC
Chiropractor
Ellen Flowers FGM
Spiritual Life CoachEnergetic Nutritionist
Health Care Coordinator
Susan Richardson
Office Manager
Front Desk
Sherry Herrera
Front Desk Person
Hyla Carney
Physical Therapy
Susan McDonald
Catherine Cummings
Is there a sweet that is not poisonous? Yes!
Dr Dave Supersweet Drops and 2X Sugar Substitute
New Products
Coconut Milk
| |
