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This newsletter is about living centered in your heart.
August 5, 2012
Heart Centered Living
Hi ,
Living from your heart is a high and noble goal for life. All the great spiritual teachers for mankind have tried to teach this to us. Philosophers write about the virtues of a heart-felt life. Most people understand on some level that they are called to live from their hearts... yet it seems to be such a challenge for so many.
When described it sounds like living from your heart would not only be a good thing, but it would feel wonderful as well. Heart-felt living has been promoted as the answer to having a wonderful life. In many ways I agree that this is true, but a simple look at the lives of the saints and holy men throughout the ages suggests that there is more to the story than just candy apple happiness. Their lives were not so happy in many ways while at the same time they were able to reach beyond the pain to touch an inner bliss and peace.
Living from your heart begins with living from your inside outward. Most people live from the outside in - struggling to find something in their outer life that will fill the emptiness they feel inside and "make" them happy. Perhaps it is that special other person that will make you feel OK, or your kids, or your job, or friends, or hobbies, or whatever. The core feeling most people have inside is dissatisfaction, a hunger for something that is hard to name. We know the feeling we are looking for when "things are right", and we think we just need to make the world be right in order to feel the way we want.
Unfortunately, this does not work. It is backwards. The feeling we are after actually is the consequence of us showing up "right" in life and has nothing to do with how life is. That "right" feeling is an internal feeling feedback to let us know we are outflowing in alignment with our true purpose. It is not about people, circumstances, or things being the way we think they should be. We want to believe it is, but its not.
Why would we want to believe that "rightness" is about stuff around us being the way we think it should? Why, because the alternative - that we have to be in alignment with our true purpose - is too painful to accept. Alignment is hard - very hard, and it carries a kind of pain that there is no easy answer for. There is no candy apple happiness or "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" outcome to our true life path.
What pain am I talking about? When you are in your heart the separation between you and others all but disappears. You are one with life and that means you get to feel the pain and suffering of all life around you. Why do you think so many truly spiritual gurus and saints have sought to spend so much time in solitude? In solitude they are able to focus on their connection to spirit/God/universal oneness. Out in the world is very painful because of the deep compassion they have for the suffering of all life around them.
A few have seen through the suffering, but most have not.
Then there is the issue of alignment with one's true purpose. The specifics are different for each person as we are all unique cells in the body of God. But the basics are the same for everyone. We all get to solve the great puzzle of harmonious creation and connection. Most of the time our attempts to bring our personal true feeling purpose into manifestation run smack up against someone else's manifesting purpose heading in an entirely different direction. What we want and what others want are all too often at cross-purposes. And because we feel we have to have our way in order to feel OK, we easily justify trying to control others to get our way. This is not harmonious, so we fail the puzzle.
Connection has just as many problems. In order to feel safe we want to pretend that everyone thinks and feels the same way we do. We will project as much of ourselves onto others as we can, and do whatever is necessary to inhibit any expression of basic differences in others to build a feeling of sameness and thereby a belief in connection. This is not harmonious; it is a lie.
Safety comes from respect and support for differences through finding ways to create win-win relationships. Your are safest when those around you feel their truth is supported by you. They then want you to be safe because they like having you around. And when this relationship is two-way they feel doubly safe, because they know their support of you is also valued so they trust you want them safe because they know you like having them around.
Experiences in life will reveal this interaction to you so that you can come to intuitively understand one of the key lessons of the heart - respect. This is also the answer to calm the pain you feel when you engage life with an open heart. Respect demands that you accept that whatever each person is going through, no matter how painful, that his or her pain is purposeful. They created their experience of the pain (and sometimes even the circumstances that generated the pain) as part of their desire to fill the emptiness inside their hearts. Ultimately the pain will teach them that the only way to fill their hearts is from the inside out.
Whatever you want to fill your heart with is what you have to give to the world. If you want to feel loved, you have to become loving - but from a place of respect. Respect is the key. Giving out in order to receive fails. Giving out because it is your nature works when you learn to give with respect. Your virtuous feeling gifts to the world are your true purpose. Learning how to express them in a way that creates harmonious connection is the lesson we were put on this planet to learn.
It is learning this balance that brings us peace, fulfillment, and bliss. The pain of the open heart's experience of the world is still there, but it is only a tiny piece of the much greater picture. We learn through contrasting experiences - good/bad. This is the meaning the masters have described when they have told us that this is a world of duality. It is the interplay of the dark and the light that creates the contrast that enables us to see the truth. We can not learn what works except through the experience of what does not work.
Why not? As humans we are experts in efficiency. We are always looking for how to get the most benefit from the least amount of work. But the path of respect and harmony is a "high cost" path that never pays off more than 50%. Win-win relationships mean equal benefit. You never get to be the winner at the expense of someone else and end up with the lion's share for the least effort. So the heart-felt path is not the natural choice for humans. But it is the only choice that actually works in the long run. This is why it is such a challenge for most of us.
As long as we feel empty inside and "need" to fill ourselves from the outside, we can't really succeed in living from the heart. To have a respect based exchange with others, we have to be full of our feeling virtues - our truth. We have to be able to gift others with that feeling virtue in order to create exchange for what we want from others in a win-win exchange. The form our feeling virtue might take is up to us - whatever pleases us. Say freedom is a feeling we really resonate with. We might express that in song or art that others want, or we might be a freedom fighter or a lawyer willing to take up the good fight for freedom. It doesn't matter as it is our expression of our feeling strength. Someone else that is weak in that feeling and wants to bring that virtue into their life will want to offer us something that has equal value to us in exchange. This is living from the heart - all working together for the greater good of the whole...all helping each other to achieve our fulfillment.
So yes, living from the heart is difficult and sometimes painful, but it is also to road to bliss and fulfillment. It is not a natural choice, but it is the only choice that works in the long run.
Take care,
David
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Coconut Flour and Coconut Oil
We have the good stuff from Tropical Traditions back in the office again for you. This is not your cheap solvent extracted coconut oil, but coconut oil harvested in the traditional manner - the oil is mechanically squeezed out of the coconut meat without the use of any chemical solvents. These are pure organic coconuts raised without fertilizers or pesticides. Its a little more expensive, but so much better for you.
New Exercise Program
Patients are reporting great results with the new back strengthening program I wrote about in the March 18th newsletter. I highly recommend this program for everyone as we all need stronger backs to counter the effects of too much sitting. If you missed this information here is a link to that newsletter.
Special Offer: Free Health Evaluation
Discover your true health status
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Questions - if you have questions of
a health or growth nature we could discuss in this newsletter, or if
you have comments or ideas about a future newsletter focus please email
me at:
david@fairoakshealth.com
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"This article appears courtesy of Fair Oaks Health News, offering natural and healthy solutions for body, mind and soul. For a complimentary subscription,
visit http://www.fairoakshealth.com"
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On the Wire
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Mindfulness Reduces Loneliness in Older Adults
Loneliness is actually a core cause of many health problems, particularly in the aging population. It increases the expression of genes in the body that increase inflammation. Mindfulness meditation has been found to be more effective at reducing loneliness in older adults that social networking like community centers as well as actually reducing the markers in the blood for inflammation.
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"Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force."
~ Tom Blandi
Parenthood paradox
Many mothers take parenting very seriously. Curiously, the more intensive the parenting style a mother uses, the greater the negative mental health outcomes for both the mother and the children. To quote the authors: "If intensive mothering is related to so many negative mental health
outcomes, why do women do it? They may think that it makes them better
mothers, so they are willing to sacrifice their own mental health to
enhance their children's cognitive, social and emotional outcomes. In
reality, intensive parenting may have the opposite effect on children
from what parents intend."
"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher
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Cricket Snack Bar
It is hard to find a good high protein snack bar that isn't full of junk. Soon we will have the choice to boost up our protein levels with cricket "meat". Before you gross out, be aware that every culture besides ours eats insects in some form. Insects are 20 times more efficient at converting plant matter into usable protein than cows and may be a necessary shift for us in the future for this very reason. Speaking of cows, grazing animals like cows, horses, and sheep actually get a significant portion of their protein from insects the consume with their grass. We think of them as vegetarians, but they aren't. The Old Testament of Christianity, Judaism, and Muslim religions all specifically allow for the consumption of locusts, grasshoppers, and crickets. So now a company has formed to grind up crickets and make them into snack bars for us.
"Innocence involves an unseeing acceptance of things at face value, an ignorance of the things below the surface. One cannot have both compassion and innocence. "
~Eugenia Collier
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About Dr. DeLapp
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Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years. He began experimenting with medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis. In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education. Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic. He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice.
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health.
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities.
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth. The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework. Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.
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