Within the balanced harmonious order of the universe we are designed to give freely from our abundance to help meet the needs of others who value what we have to give.  In exchange we receive from the abundance of others those things we value and need.  This is win-win value based equal exchange, which feels as though we are fully supported by the universe.  Our needs are met without struggle or sacrifice since we are able to give freely from the natural abundance we already have.

I am talking about inherent qualities and virtues within each of us that we naturally develop into tradable exchangeable skills.  Some of us have strength, some have intelligence, some wisdom, some simplicity, some enthusiasm, and so on.  These will translate into skills that we employ as we develop our personal way of making it in the world.  Since they are inherent within us, we love to employ them.  The socialite loves to socialize, and the thinker loves to think. The things we each do that is natural to us flows with little effort.  Conversely, they may be extremely difficult for many others who need it and value it.  We are meant to do what is natural to us and invigorates us.  This is our flow and our gift to life.  And on a practical level it is what we are meant to use as trading currency to get our needs met.

This lovely picture is inspiring, but it does not seem to happen this way for most people.  Why?  Because most people don't know what their natural gifts are - where their flow is and what they could be doing that would feel effortless yet be highly valuable to others.  When we are born we are terribly vulnerable and needy without any developed skills with which to trade for what we need to survive.  Our inner landscape feels like a big black hole of neediness with nothing to offer in exchange.  

We are dependent.  We survive through the charity of our caretakers.  We get what we need to survive essentially for nothing.  The only abundance we have at that age is poop and crying.  We can not feel the hopes and dreams our caretakers project into us.  They are investing in us knowing we are raw and have no developed skills with which to trade.  From our side it looks as though we simply show up and are provided for.  This gives us a false sense of importance, as we are able to merit getting our needs met without having to pay for it.  Unfortunately anything we get for free we quickly come to expect and then demand.  We feel entitled to get what we want since we got what we wanted before without having to do anything other than cry for it.

This primary narcissism defines our experience as a child.  Many people never climb out of it.  Your innate gifts and virtues are always trying to express themselves.  If you are always looking outside yourself to others to fill your needs and wants instead of developing your innate qualities into finely honed valuable skills, then you will invest no time or energy into discovering your abundance.  You will live in lack.  You will always be trying to get your needs met through using and trying to control others.  Your unconscious rationalization will be that you have to do this to survive.  Your conscious belief will be that you deserve to get your needs and wants met - you are entitled to have them met.  You will develop elaborate stories to support this belief; stories of abuse and victimhood, or specialness, or whatever.  

One sure sign of this pattern within ourselves is our obsession with what other people are thinking or feeling about us.  We feel we have a right to make them think and feel the way we believe and want them to think and feel.  We do this to create control over them to make sure that we will be important and come first in their life.  We want to assure our needs will continue to be met by them.  We have to do this through control since we don't have something of great value to the other person with which to trade for what we want or need.  We want exclusive rights to their attention.  The demand for exclusivity is a clear sign of this control game at work... a clear sign that we are not in touch with what we have of value to give to others. We don't believe we have anything valuable enough to trade for our needs.

The truth is no one else will ever make us the center of his or her attention.  Their survival requires that they keep their needs in the center of their attention.  When it looks like they are making us center, it is either because they are projecting some part of themselves into us, or they believe they need us to be ok.  Our value to them is as a stand-in for themselves or their needs.  They never want who we really are - we are too foreign, too alien.  Our insides are different than theirs.  To take care of our needs they demand we suppress who we are and reflect what they want.  This is the control game dance.  We try to control them and they try to control us.

The alternative is to turn our attention inward.  Connect with our natural flows and gifts.  Find what our innate qualities are and develop them into valuable skills.  In this way we become valuable to others for what we can offer to them to help them survive and prosper.  We don't need to care what they are thinking or feeling anymore, only what kind of value based relationship we can create with them in which we both win - both get our needs met.  Literally, what they think or feel is none of our business.  Only the quality of relationship is our business as we perform our side of the exchange with honesty and integrity.  Wanting to know what they think and feel moment to moment is just our ego trying to figure out how to control them - control their thoughts and feelings.  Let go of this.  It is insanity making.

The biggest place we see this in action is in love.  Despite what people say, love is not a feeling - desire is a feeling.  Love is a type of value based exchange relationship in which mutual respect dominates.  Love is a form of action, not a feeling.  Respect means you trust the other person enough to let them have their own life without your interference.  If they want something from you they will ask.  What they think or feel about you is none of your business - only the way they act towards you in relationship with you is your business.  It is the basis of the exchange between you that is the love you share.

Accept and embrace life as it is, and figure out how to give and receive value to and from life.  Be empowered to live from your abundance.  Be true to yourself.          

Yours in health,

David 

Coconut Flour and Coconut Oil

Cholesterol drugs trigger anxiety and depression

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About Dr. DeLapp

Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years.  He began experimenting with  medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis.  In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education.  Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic.  He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice. 
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health. 
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities. 
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth.  The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework.  Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.

Dr David DeLapp DC
Chiropractor

Ellen Flowers FGM
Spiritual Life Coach

 

 

Catherine Cummings

 

 

Jin Shin Jitsu

 

 

Lorena Morales

 

 

Massage Practitioner

 

 

 

 

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