Today is Christmas.  This is that special time of year.  We like the feeling of special - special things are better than ordinary things.  Everyone wants to be special.  Being special gives us advantage.  It gives us greater leverage in getting our needs and wants met.  We get more Christmas presents. 

So how do we get to be special?

Curiously, what we are taught as children is that we are special when we present and behave in a manner our parents want us to present and behave.  We are rewarded and told we are special when we excel at activities our parent's value.  Maybe we do well scholastically by getting straight A's in school.  We will get plenty of praise about how special we are.  Maybe we do well at sports, or theater, or in class government, or in church activities.  We are trained to believe that what makes us special is our ability to please our parents or other authority figures in our lives.

Notice that being special is about fulfilling part of someone else's vision of rightness.  It has nothing to do with discovering and expressing our own individual self and truth.  So the reality is, "we" never get to actually be special, we just get to act out a role in another person's story of what is special.  We get the opportunity to be proclaimed special when we match the picture of special to the person praising us.

Unfortunately this perspective on special tends to produce one of three results - those who are successful at pleasing others, those who fail and feel not special as a result, and those who rebel and disconnect from the judgments of this system.  None of these people feel good for being themselves.  None of them feel special inside.

As a Christmas present, I would like to highlight an entirely different way to gain that feeling of specialness that we all want in a way that affirms our core truths and individuality.  It is not new, but it is commonly overlooked.  In a world gone insane with self-interest, how can we ever get to be special?  I am not talking about that insipid public school sentiment that every child is special because they take up space (and provide public funding for the school by showing up.)  I am talking about truly valued for the unique being that each of us is.  Wouldn't that feel good?  Isn't that the feeling we are really looking for in this the special time of year?  We want to feel valued - by family, friends, co-workers, even complete strangers.

The world of business knows the answer to how to create value.  That answer is simple - provide a service that people want.  Service is a profoundly simple concept.  Discover who you are and then figure out a way that your uniqueness can add to others.  What have you got that can be valued by others?  Every one of us is born with unique talents.  It is true.  A talent is simply a unique way of relating to the world, which you work to develop great skill with.  The skills you develop through your unique relationships with the world can be expanded and refined so that they will benefit others who do not have those skills.  Every single person you can think of that you believe is valuable to you has done this in some way.  But their value to you is based not only on developing those skills, but also in offering those skills in service to you.  If they were not offered in service, then they would be of no value to you.  Each of those people is special to you because the have offered their uniqueness as a service you can use.

Service generates value, which generates specialness.

You can legitimately be special to other people without having to give up your truth and be just some reflection of an image of what is right in someone else's mind.  You can be special to others by being yourself - but you have to do the work of developing your truth into something that will meet the needs of others.

The unfortunate pervasive lie that is being poured into the heads of our children is that they are special just for showing up.  Sorry, it simply is not true.  Their specialness is still in an undeveloped form.  The potential is there, but it is not manifest until they first discover themselves and then figure out how to offer what they discover to the world as a service to others.  If you teach this to your children, then they can grow up empowered and hopeful.  They can know that life has a place for them, a place where they belong and have value.  Life needs diversity to fulfill itself.  The uniqueness of each and every child is part of that diversity.

Why isn't this hopeful truth being taught?  It involves work.  It involves painful trial and error.  And in the end, you do not get to be better than anyone else - you only get to belong and be valued.  Our ego doesn't like work, it doesn't like pain, and it certainly doesn't like equality.  Our ego likes feeling entitled to being better than everyone else just because we exist.  We want to be "special" as in a fairy tale prince or princess where everyone bows down to us and makes us center...not going to happen.

You are special when you provide a valued service to another human being...and everyone can do that.  Everyone can be special.  You can be special.  Special is a relationship of value and high regard for another person because of how they support your needs and wants.  The pretend special based on some sort of birth entitlement where you become the center of other people's lives does not exist.  Go for what is real.  Chasing the illusion only means that you never spend the time actually becoming special to others.

This Christmas, instead of telling your children how special they are, tell them how much you love them.  Tell them how special they can become by discovering themselves and finding out how to make that of service to others.  This will fill them with the real hope of the holidays.  Tell them you love them, but tell them the truth about special.  That way they don't have to end up as people pleasers, or failures, or disempowered rebels.  They can grow up straight and tall knowing they have the potential to be amazing - they just have to grow into it.  

Tell them special comes from service.

Just relaxing can make you fatter

~ Wayne Dyer

Soap Shoppers Safety Guide

I have begun formulating my own soap for personal use at home in order to avoid the toxic chemicals in so many of the commercial brands.  One particularly nasty toxin is 1,4 dioxane.  Because it is considered a contaminant in products instead of an actually intended ingredient, it does not have to be listed on the label of the product.  The Organic Consumers Association has been testing products and has created a buying guide for safe products.

 

~ Albert Schweitzer

New plasma "brush" may mean painless cavity filling

~ David

     _________________________________________________    

About Dr. DeLapp

Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years.  He began experimenting with  medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis.  In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education.  Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic.  He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice. 
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health. 
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities. 
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth.  The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework.  Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.

Dr David DeLapp DC
Chiropractor

Ellen Flowers FGM
Spiritual Life Coach

 

 

Catherine Cummings

 

 

Jin Shin Jitsu

 

 

Lorena Morales

 

 

Massage