Today is my 58th birthday and I am spending it with my eldest son up in Seattle.  Birthdays are a good time to reflect on spiritual principles and philosophical perspectives.  Since I perceive myself as a philosopher by nature, I thought I would share my ruminations on the nature of being valued.  I begin with the simple question:

Do I have value?

Although on the surface of the American mindset this is a silly question, it is never the less the question we are always asking ourselves through our day to day actions.  It lurks behind so many of our choices in life.  Where do we live, what clothes do we wear, how do we fix our hair, and so on. 

We want to believe in the illusion of independence.  When we were young we couldn't wait to "get out on our own" so we could be independent.  In truth however, resistance to the authority of our parents (or any other authority) is just another form of dependence.  In our defiance we are still depending on "them" to tell us what we want and what we feel by letting "them" define for us what we are not supposed to want or feel.  In our opposition we are still defined by their values.

Humans are social creatures.  We are so utterly dependent upon each other for everything that original thought or feeling is truly rare.  How many of us would actually survive if we were suddenly plopped down naked and alone on a deserted island somewhere.  Even more important, would we even want to survive if we knew we would be truly alone forever?  Humans are social creatures down to their core.

It is this fundamental social nature that begs the question of do we have value.  Our participation with others is based on our value to others.  Like it or not, if we have no value to someone on some level, they do not participate with us.  Many cultural groups wisely understand that the greatest punishment that the culture can impose upon someone is to refuse to participate with them.  Shunning is a devastating sentence for social transgressions.

Our social nature is basic and the fuel it runs on is the exchange of value.  All value stems from the fundamental perception of inequality and/or lack.  Something is of value to me because I believe I need it and believe I lack it.

Yet as Americans we have a fanciful belief set that has grown to defy this most basic truth.  Our constitution says that all men are created equal.  We have fancifully distorted this self-evident truth into a grotesque lie that reads "we are all equal" in the sense of equally deserving of being valued and having our needs and wants met.  This is not what the constitution framers intended to say.  This one falls under the category of "if you are going to tell a lie, make it big enough and repeat it often enough and it will be believed."  Created equal and currently equal are miles apart.  (Yes it is "obvious" to me at least that when a sperm meets an egg and a life is started, that essence of life potential is equal to all other life potentials at that same point of creation.)  What you deserve today is solely based on how you show up in life today, not on your potential at conception.

From conception on each person's life path is different.  The degree to which each of us fulfills our potential is different.  We are all different from each other.  We are not in any way equal on any measure.  Comparisons do not even make sense as we are each such a mixed bag of so many partially unfolded potentials.  Better than or worse than can apply to only one measured potential amongst the thousands we are developing at any moment.  It is our differences that give us value in many situations.

Not one of us is complete.  As such, each of us has needs and wants that support our continuing unfoldment.  Each need or want we have gives someone else who can help meet that need value.  We need each other and that means we each potentially have something of value to share with another person.  Our most potent gift of value is our personal participation in another person's unfoldment story.  If we were the same as that person then we would have little of value to give them through our participation.  It would be like trying to sell sand to someone living on a sand dune - they don't need any more sand.  Our value is only half what we have to give.  The other half is all about what the other person wants or needs.

On a group/family/tribal level we often measure value in another person by how much they are the same as us.  Sameness is a value when the unfoldment story that is being played out involves learning how to relate to tribe and family.  Harmony is a fundamentally stable and "preferred" state in life, and harmony through sameness is much easier than harmony between differences.  So sameness has value because it is easy to relate to.  On the down side, sameness stifles creative adaptation to changing environments, so some difference is needed and tolerated when it supports the wellbeing of all concerned. 

But to gain this sameness value you have to be willing to participate in the easy relationships offered.  You have to be willing to support the status quo.  You have to want to belong and positively participate.  (Even if you are the same, if you are a bummer and a drag, no one will want you around.)  Your participation needs to "match" the energy, attitude, and tone of the group you are participating with if you are to generate harmony.

Participation only has two successful forms - lead or support (follow).  All other forms are unstable and therefore short lived.  This is where we are running into trouble in our modern times.  There has been a massive shift in social values into an unsustainable set of beliefs and forms of participation.  My personal belief is that this has been a consequence of the economic good times this country experienced after World War II.  The Baby Boomer generation got accustomed to abundance and plenty from birth onward so much that they began to feel it was their right.  Once we invent the belief that something is our right, simple common sense goes out the window.  We will continue to act and choose badly in spite of the obvious negative feedback life is giving us to try to get us to correct our course, but we ignore it completely. 

Our belief in our entitlement to ease and abundance is destroying this country.  Each successive generation is pushing this absurd belief to greater and greater extremes expecting some magic fairy to grant them all their worldly desires without any participation on their part.  This is not sustainable - you can't create something from nothing.

Abundance comes from the exchange of value.  The more value I provide in the lives of others, the more abundance I experience in my life.  Exchange is the key.  Entitlement does not involve exchange.  Eventually the provider runs out of valued goods or services to provide because without exchange there is no replenishment for the provider.  The provider runs dry.  Sustainable living requires us all to be both providers and receivers at different times.

This brings us back to our original question - do you have value?  We can now reframe that question to "Do you provide value to others and do you participate as a receiver of others value?"  The presence of two-sided even exchange is the fundamental basis of value.  This is a little broader perception then is generally recognized because it takes into account the issue of sustainability.  You may produce great value to others, but if you do not receive value back then your expression will be short lived and therefore ultimately be of little value.

So what behaviors have value?  Supportive participation with others (giving of your time, skills, and energy), creation of supportive goods (anything from farming to building to manufacturing to artistry), and leadership (providing guidance from knowledge, experience, and inspiration).  Lastly your ability to receive from others has value because you participate in their self-unfoldment process when you do.  The quality of your receiving provides valuable feedback to others to help them find their true path to successful participation with life. 

So every one of us has the capacity to be of value in life.  Are we fulfilling that capacity?  Are we each outflowing with either support or leadership?  Are we participating in other people's lives - receiving them as they in turn receive us?  Are we accepting and engaging the relationships in our lives?

Value is not something we are born with, although people will value our potential to someday have value.  There is nothing inherently valuable in being human any more than there is value in a corpse.  Value requires relationship.  Value is a product of how we participate with life.  No person is inherently more valuable than another just by their existence.  Each person's value is forged out of their skills of participation with life in a manner that either leads or supports such that both sides gain from the participation.  Value builds upon itself.

Do you have the skills to be of value?

Take care,

David

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david@fairoakshealth.com

Antibiotics have 'little effect' on cough and phlegm

     This is a follow up support piece for last weeks article on mold and fungus as the real cause of chronic mucus or phlegm.  This article shows that despite frequent use of antibiotics for patients that cough up green phlegm, it does no good.  Now that we understand mold is the real cause this finding makes perfect sense.

 

Antibiotics

 

 

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For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.
~ John Burroughs

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About Dr. DeLapp

Dr. DeLapp has been a philosopher, non-force Chiropractor, medical intuitive, and health innovator for over 30 years.  He began experimenting with  medical intuition in 1972 while studying physics at UC Davis.  In addition to physics he designed and completed an individual major in the philosophy and psychology of education.  Shortly after he choose to pursue a career in the only truly health oriented profession available at that time, Chiropractic.  He graduated with honors in 1981 with his doctorate and opened a private practice. 
Since that time he has continued his research into the effects of consciousness and learning on health. 
He developed the Biomagnetic Retraining system for correcting movement abnormalities. 
Since 1991 he has focused on developing a powerful system for uncovering and assisting the mind-body connection in health and personal growth.  The in-depth coaching, guided by the subconscious direction from the body, is called Heartflow and the simpler mind-body retraining for health and unfoldment he has named Gracework.  Both are available at Fair Oaks Health.

Dr David DeLapp DC
Chiropractor

Ellen Flowers FGM
Spiritual Life Coach

 

Vita-Mix